Your insecurities don’t have to be Mine

Since being in quarantine I have noticed my weight fluctuate. I decided to excercise everyday.

I know I won’t be a before and after picture or just drop 100 pounds overnight it takes hard work and dedication.

I just want endurance. I want to play with my kids without being winded. I am over 300 pounds and a mother of 7. I am Finally doing something to make myself feel better and all I get is judgement.

Why am i so big , why did I let that happen?

So and so had 9 kids and she thin.

I am nobody but me! You can’t shame me for being big then shame me when I try to workout. People will see me working out or biking with my kids and laugh at me. Well first im to lazy and never try. Then I’m stupid for trying and look gross.

I am proud of hard work im putting and im not counting inches or pounds. I focusing on how I feel. Any one whether big or small. Someone trying to gain or lose. Someone wearing a crop and bike shorts biking with their kids just want to be left alone.

I am proud to say through all negativity i see so much positive vibes and I praise everyone for doing that for me.

I sometimes wear workout clothes that is tight. A sports bra , which is so hard to find without breaking bank btw and i personally feel great until i get laughed at for just existing.

Your insecurities or scrutiny of your own body imagine is not mine. I want you to know I embrace you through you flaws and embrace what makes you diverse.

Sexy at Any Size

I made sure to grab what i wanted for valentines day night and tried to not let my stomach be a factor.

I have big thighs and arms plus much more i don’t like about myself but i dont want to be weighed down by my insecurities.

I got a bra from cacquie on sale so yay! $24 well spent and a dress form torrid also on sale hurray me . I want what every girl of any size wants to look and feel sexy. I want my Valentine to really be surprised and enjoy me as much as i enjoyed dressing up. You shouldnt have to play dress up every day to get your partners attention but when i do i want to know its worth it.

So the flowers red and black are exactly what I didnt know i needed. Im curious where other people got their outfits from.

Now i didnt edit my pictures except used a filter on snapchat video because i wanted to show how flawed i am. My body is the product of kids, weight gain and my age. I feel perfectly okay letting that side out to show my vulnerable self hoping another woman who looks like me also feels confident enough to wear something they wouldnt or feel they cant.

Big Girls and thigh highs tights

So i dont know if any other big girls like me have wanted tights. I have seen girls on multiple occasions wearing thigh high tights just holding on to magic feels like. They look cute and i was jealous. So i began a search. I looked at torrid tights and as much as i like torrid as soon as i out them on ams stood up they rolled down. It was pretty disheartening. So i searched the internet in my quest and found Kixies. Now spending $30 on tights…Yea that took me a while to finally say fine i want to try it. 

  Guys let me tell you i did not regret it. First time i ordered they stayed up but just one day so i talk to owner and she was such a big help. I figured i needed biggest size because usually i am but no i got a C instead of D and whoa. 

I am a waitress and let me tell you they stay! Stayed up a whole shift and i wore them to mardi gras and night out . I love them so much i just ordered new ones.If you order and put code Raquel you get $10 so if you have been on fence try it. 

 Also if anyone else knows some good tights let me in the loop! I have been on a style journey and really trying to look how i want to and no that doesnt mean thinner to fit the norm clothes per say but be my big fabulous self and wear those same clothes and feel fine. I do acknowledge many might not find it cute like i do but its okay im not here to impress everyone, i am here to be happy!So i uploaded a picture, not my best but just so show other girls

My Youtube Link

https://youtu.be/FUZEEPSvnf4

My first runway!

I went to casting for runaway show and got it. Super excited for new opportunity with great people. It will be my first and not my last i hope. I am beyond excited. So the host is GirlCode Boutique in Houston. Does anyone have any advice for me. The girls are so nice and fierce and i need to bring my best. 

I wonder how in love i will be with this. Knowing me i will fall head over heels for this.I posted  some pictures for you guys and yes i am the one with blue hair. Great time for plus size women. Dont let anyone tell you that there is not things out there for you. Do not let people tell you you’re not beautiful.  Size does not stop you only you can. So stand up be big and beautiful and rock your curves.