Your insecurities don’t have to be Mine

Since being in quarantine I have noticed my weight fluctuate. I decided to excercise everyday.

I know I won’t be a before and after picture or just drop 100 pounds overnight it takes hard work and dedication.

I just want endurance. I want to play with my kids without being winded. I am over 300 pounds and a mother of 7. I am Finally doing something to make myself feel better and all I get is judgement.

Why am i so big , why did I let that happen?

So and so had 9 kids and she thin.

I am nobody but me! You can’t shame me for being big then shame me when I try to workout. People will see me working out or biking with my kids and laugh at me. Well first im to lazy and never try. Then I’m stupid for trying and look gross.

I am proud of hard work im putting and im not counting inches or pounds. I focusing on how I feel. Any one whether big or small. Someone trying to gain or lose. Someone wearing a crop and bike shorts biking with their kids just want to be left alone.

I am proud to say through all negativity i see so much positive vibes and I praise everyone for doing that for me.

I sometimes wear workout clothes that is tight. A sports bra , which is so hard to find without breaking bank btw and i personally feel great until i get laughed at for just existing.

Your insecurities or scrutiny of your own body imagine is not mine. I want you to know I embrace you through you flaws and embrace what makes you diverse.

Not here to pressure you

I talked before about how I started crossfit. Now that doesn’t mean I’m here to pressure you or make you feel like you have to! Everyone’s journey is different. I didnt decide to hit the gym to lose weight but build stamina.

In all honesty I could lose some weight. I love my body but also like most people have issue with it. I made excuses for years to why I couldnt and to be honest I shied away from anything that pushes me or makes me sweat.

If u said hike,run or anything hot I didnt do it. The fact I didnt ever do anything yes I got big . Being big not an issue because there are plus size athletes I admire but they move and have some kind of drive and stamina. I didnt have the want or need to move.

The career I’m doing now I need to be able to carry things and walk long distances. I dont want someone to not want to hire me because I cant move more than 5 minutes. I dont want to be dying to catch my breathe. I could have joined regular gym but I know me I would have only done enough to say I did without breaking a sweat.

I found a gym and met with coaches before hand. That made me feel so comfortable and motivated. I have someone who doesnt push me so hard I’m crying and puking but someone who pushes me enough to sweat so much I’m actually dripping sweat without hurting myself. Can I do a push up? No. Can I run? Also no I feel my ankles wanting to buckle immediately but I will eventually! I hope you stick around for body positivity and part of that is me accepting my body and doing what’s best for me.

No I wont flood yall with workouts but every so often I will update you, ask for advice and talk about stigmas I’m facing as someone who is very overweight trying.

I want to be able to walk and not die. I want to want to walk because I know I can make it. I want to stop shying away from tasks because there physical. I dont know if that’s just me but the fact I can admit that to myself means alot. Whether you like me or struggling to keep on weight we are all battling our selves trying our best! Dont ever belittle someone struggle. Some people cant keep it on and cant gain weight and yes small people are beautiful and so is my big body.

We are together on this journey of self love.

Can we cheer for eachother? Can I cheer for you?

I believe in you and I believe in myself.

I am not to late to fix what I want to about me.

I attached a video of me working out, doesnt seem like much to someone who is more active but here I am in my all my glory. Stomach jiggling,sweating and trying my best.

Plus Size Mommy

So i know i have been gone for way too long but last i posted i had twins. Well me this lady here has been busy. I had another child! No i did not have twins again but a single boy. So now i have 3 under 1 years old which is very intense. I sometime dont know how to pee alone let alone anything else but im making it work.In total i have 7 kids now. Yes 7 that is not a typo. I have 2 twin sets and 3 singles.Now it is hard keeping my mind and body to my liking and confidence high,So i will keep righting and blogging to give my person experiences as a mother of so many and most important a woman.I am more than just a mother or wife. I am a woman of substance and interest outside my daily life and kids. I am also about to start vlogging so i will inform everyone accordingly.I am working my way to be Audio engineer so right now im a student, mom,wife and trying to stay an individual.. Thank you everyone for the read and support. Anyone else with tips and trick for a regular mom let me know i have open ear.

Forever doomed to be a Weirdo

Will I forever be the weirdo. Always saying something that makes everybody stop and make them look at me crazy?

  The answer is yes! I have learned to embrace it because I can’t change it. I have tried I won’t lie. I am more comfortable in my skin being this awkward inappropriate mess! 

  People know what to expect from me by now and what can I say nothing like being yourself. Anyone else in my Universe who just as awkward give me a shout out because I’ll love to know im not alone in this weirdo life. The video is from snapchat but whoa the filters are so darling hahah! That is me on my way to work and yes with flower cat ears because I’m not normal hear me roar!